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Garbage Pail Tales

As usual, it wouldn’t be the spooky season here at Never Say Dice if we didn’t dust off some nostalgic childhood memories and use them as gaming inspiration . As we've discussed before, it shouldn’t be too surprising, given how much macabre media molded the childhoods of 80s and 90s children - very much including ourselves. We’ve even already posted about a number of things from Boglins to Beatlejuices , and (probably) some other letters of the alphabet. More than a few of these tiny bits of nostalgia are proudly disgusting, like Blurp Balls or just good ol' generic ooze. ( Everything was oozy or slimy in the late 80s and early 90s! Venkman got slimed , the Ninja/Hero Turtles got oozed ... and I cared for none of that stuff. I can’t be the only one from that era who had this kind of textural issue.) One thing that fits right in with all the strangeness of the era is the bizarre phenomenon known as the Garbage Pail Kids : sets of trading cards produced by Topps, and designed ...
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Inn Dependant

As we all know by now, it's difficult for this blog to not look at popular things and rip them apart and/or break them down. It doesn’t matter if they’re classic tropes from our favorite media or popular videos of stupid rules interpretations that engagement baiters have proliferated. The  trope this particular post covers will be a classic one : You All Meet at an Inn., also sometimes known as You All Meet at a Tavern. While it would probably be enjoyable (and fairly easy), to take this one down a notch this post is going to take a different approach than usual and support the trope's use. You might say this post is "Inn Defense" of the Inn as a starting point in games and stories. So for this week, read along as we fend off the major complaints and extoll the benefits of using the Inn (or Tavern) for your launch.  Where Everybody Knows Your Name “You all meet at an inn (or tavern).” You can probably already hear the players groan as you trot out the time-tested ope...

Redacted

Typically, you’ll see posts from me attempting to break a particular meme or trope related to gaming and the ways the rules of our fantasy worlds play out . It's rather enjoyable to pick apart the bait content engagement farmers put out there without giving them credit. For this post, I’d like to take a look at a particular trope that involves something very important in our lives today: when the jester makes fun of the King, they're likely to lose their head... something our TV court jesters have felt lately, particularly Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel. What I’m talking about is censorship. Which is something that should worry those of us who consume media in all its forms just as much as it worries content creators, both big ones like the Colberts and Kimmels of the world, and small fry like us folks here at Never Say Dice. So for this week, let's talk a bit about censorship.  Funny What happened to Kimmel and Colbert isn’t funny. Of course, there are some that would a...

Cards Amidst Humanity

I don't know poker, not really , but I'm learning. It's the most legendary and storied of card games, especially since bridge, once a cornerstone of suburban American living, has mostly faded into the mists of history. Terms like "fold," "ante," and "wild card" are all part of our general lexicon. Regular "poker nights" provide complex characterization and plot foreshadowing in some of my all-time favorite media, including  M*A*S*H  and  Star Trek: The Next Generation . For all its history and still-visible presence (we all remember the online poker craze about 15 years ago), there's still a certain mystique to the game. Not only because of the dark, smoky rooms the game brings to mind, or the litany of terms and traditions that have amassed over the years, but because poker is about the  player  as much as it's about the game. Analyzing the other players, not only for how the play but psychologically, sniffing out hidden ...

Don't Bury Me

Hi, I’m one half of Never Say Dice, specifically the cranky D&D and fantasy content-consuming half, and you may remember me from meme busting posts such as: Them Bones , Divine Bovine , and Uh-oh Here Comes the Peasant Railgun . Finding ways to kill foes in the tabletop realms fills the imaginations of players and DMs alike. Finding smart ways to do so within the rules is even more important when we all want to play a game that's fair and reasonable. Then we have the other type of gamer, who wants to have their moment in the creative sun by ignoring, flouting, or perverting the rules. If you think those kinds of people sound fun, you’re wrong! And this post isn’t for you. We call those kinds of people "engagement (or rage) baiters", and they're putting unwise ideas into impressionable player’s heads. So, once again, we here at Never Say Dice are doing our part to break another "meme," and hope nobody buries us alive for trying to stop all the…burying ali...

Roll for Sandwich: Second Helping

Once again we wish a Good Timezone to Never Say Dice fans, adventures in Aardia, TikTok and beyond. No, we’re still not the Roll for Sandwich guy (seriously, neither of us), and if your memory's a little crusty, you should go devour our f irst blog post on Roll for Sandwich . The social media show is hosted by Jacob Pauwels, and is exactly what it sounds like. Every episode (nearly), the host rolls dice to determine various items that will comprise a sandwich. The host then consumes his creations and determines a name and point value along with sharing his commentary. It'is a nerdly social media underground phenomenon that has spawned fans following creators, imitators, different mediums such as pizza, and plenty of homages to the original creator. If you enjoy food and gaming (yes, in that order), you might want to dig right into the feast of these short video collections . It still enthralls my children (when we can get ourselves to all focus and watch a few episodes) and my...

Living the Alien

Given the choice, I probably wouldn't have  chosen  to play as a space bug at the time. But there were very, very few games available, let alone games with manuals , let  alone  games with high-quality full-color comic books explaining the story.  Yars' Revenge  had all of these, and it was a space game to boot, so, for perhaps the first time, I fully envisioned myself as something non-humnaoid in taking on the role of an electronic game protagonist. Maybe I could have ignored it, gone with an alternate interpretation that I was simply flying some kind of insect-shaped spacecraft , but the comic (and the map at the back) were simply too  cool  for that. It gave me a weird feeling, what I now know to be called "cognitive dissonance," but I accepted that slapping that cartridge into the Atari 2600 and flipping the "on" switch meant becoming, for however long I'd be playing, something very different. It's not like I wasn't already in love with the...