It was a dark and stormy night…what does reading that evoke in your mind? Is there a mental, or even physical and audible, groan when you see or hear that in a story? Perhaps you don’t have such an immediate reaction, but, cliché or not,  the phrase still brings to mind the gloomy and wretched environment it's meant to draw you into. After all, who wants to be out in the rain, and in the dark , no less? It can make you feel like Garbage . That isn’t to say a good walk in the rain can’t be refreshing, but we’re talking about a dark, and likely very cold, night... doesn’t seem like the best of times (though possibly the blurst of times) to be out in a storm. Recently, I came across a quote “'It was a dark and stormy night' - we can do better than that!” It's the challenge that inspired this post, so... Can we do better than that? Well, certainly we can do better than that. It's actually strange to the question asked directly rather than an assumed hypothetical. Whil...

As usual, it wouldn’t be the spooky season here at Never Say Dice if we didn’t dust off some nostalgic childhood memories and use them as gaming inspiration . As we've discussed before, it shouldn’t be too surprising, given how much macabre media molded the childhoods of 80s and 90s children - very much including ourselves. We’ve even already posted about a number of things from Boglins to Beatlejuices , and (probably) some other letters of the alphabet. More than a few of these tiny bits of nostalgia are proudly disgusting, like Blurp Balls or just good ol' generic ooze. ( Everything was oozy or slimy in the late 80s and early 90s! Venkman got slimed , the Ninja/Hero Turtles got oozed ... and I cared for none of that stuff. I can’t be the only one from that era who had this kind of textural issue.) One thing that fits right in with all the strangeness of the era is the bizarre phenomenon known as the Garbage Pail Kids : sets of trading cards produced by Topps, and designed ...

As we all know by now, it's difficult for this blog to not look at popular things and rip them apart and/or break them down. It doesn’t matter if they’re classic tropes from our favorite media or popular videos of stupid rules interpretations that engagement baiters have proliferated. The  trope this particular post covers will be a classic one : You All Meet at an Inn., also sometimes known as You All Meet at a Tavern. While it would probably be enjoyable (and fairly easy), to take this one down a notch this post is going to take a different approach than usual and support the trope's use. You might say this post is "Inn Defense" of the Inn as a starting point in games and stories. So for this week, read along as we fend off the major complaints and extoll the benefits of using the Inn (or Tavern) for your launch.  Where Everybody Knows Your Name “You all meet at an inn (or tavern).” You can probably already hear the players groan as you trot out the time-tested ope...

Typically, you’ll see posts from me attempting to break a particular meme or trope related to gaming and the ways the rules of our fantasy worlds play out . It's rather enjoyable to pick apart the bait content engagement farmers put out there without giving them credit. For this post, I’d like to take a look at a particular trope that involves something very important in our lives today: when the jester makes fun of the King, they're likely to lose their head... something our TV court jesters have felt lately, particularly Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel. What I’m talking about is censorship. Which is something that should worry those of us who consume media in all its forms just as much as it worries content creators, both big ones like the Colberts and Kimmels of the world, and small fry like us folks here at Never Say Dice. So for this week, let's talk a bit about censorship.  Funny What happened to Kimmel and Colbert isn’t funny. Of course, there are some that would a...

Hi, I’m one half of Never Say Dice, specifically the cranky D&D and fantasy content-consuming half, and you may remember me from meme busting posts such as: Them Bones , Divine Bovine , and Uh-oh Here Comes the Peasant Railgun . Finding ways to kill foes in the tabletop realms fills the imaginations of players and DMs alike. Finding smart ways to do so within the rules is even more important when we all want to play a game that's fair and reasonable. Then we have the other type of gamer, who wants to have their moment in the creative sun by ignoring, flouting, or perverting the rules. If you think those kinds of people sound fun, you’re wrong! And this post isn’t for you. We call those kinds of people "engagement (or rage) baiters", and they're putting unwise ideas into impressionable player’s heads. So, once again, we here at Never Say Dice are doing our part to break another "meme," and hope nobody buries us alive for trying to stop all the…burying ali...

Once again we wish a Good Timezone to Never Say Dice fans, adventures in Aardia, TikTok and beyond. No, we’re still not the Roll for Sandwich guy (seriously, neither of us), and if your memory's a little crusty, you should go devour our f irst blog post on Roll for Sandwich . The social media show is hosted by Jacob Pauwels, and is exactly what it sounds like. Every episode (nearly), the host rolls dice to determine various items that will comprise a sandwich. The host then consumes his creations and determines a name and point value along with sharing his commentary. It'is a nerdly social media underground phenomenon that has spawned fans following creators, imitators, different mediums such as pizza, and plenty of homages to the original creator. If you enjoy food and gaming (yes, in that order), you might want to dig right into the feast of these short video collections . It still enthralls my children (when we can get ourselves to all focus and watch a few episodes) and my...

The post schedule around this blog hasn’t been the smoothest as of late. Between life’s pressures and unexpected tragedies such as rock legends (and personal heros) dying , it's not hard to imagine how that would impact a regular day. Unfortunately for our dear readers, one of the things that has kept me from writing over the past few weeks is vacation. Though, while one might expect they'd get more writing done on a vacation, the fact of the matter is that taking your whole family on a trip, even limited to those living in your own household, is something of a job in itself. Vacation is what I want to talk about this week, though, so perhaps it works out after all. While I may have previously talked about gaming while on vacation and finding inspirations in your trips , or even taking a vacation from your weekly gam e,  this week I want to look at something a bit different: giving the characters a vacation.  Time to Party Our characters in tabletop roleplaying ga...

How often do you visit the barber in your electronic games ? It could be as easy as revisiting the character creation screen. Or it may require you to visit a specific contact in the game, spend some of the game’s currency (special or not)  and select your new hair style. Rarely does a game have some mechanic where your hair, and preferred styling of such, needs to be maintained in some way. That's a huge departure for something so eventful and important in real life, and something that's ever-changing... whether we want it to or not. It grows, it greys, it falls out - all mostly out of our control. We style it, cut it, dye it, and get it as close as we can to how we actually want it to look. It's something we spend a lot of time on, and yet in most media, including tabletop games, it's largely ignored. So this week, let's do up your hair and bring the barber shop into your tabletop games with Never Say Dice.  Do the New 'do Changes in appearances for your table...

Collecting, and curating those collections, is something that seems to span cliques, cultures, and economic statuses, even throughout history.Though there are some major differences: one would imagine the upper crust collects things such as cars and yachts, and historically what gets collected has certainly changed over time along with tastes change... though you still see Hummel figurines, pressed pennies, and fancy spoons in tourist destinations. Ask any average person today, and they'll likely say they collect something themselves. It might be as simple as coins or stamps (if you’re thinking booooorrriiinnnggg , you're probably right, but don’t yuck their Yum !), as widespread as trading cards, or as nerdly as dice (shout out to our fellow dice goblins ). We even have games based around collecting - the writers of Never Say Dice are certainly no strangers to Magic: the Gathering and other collectible card games, even if we’re not currently wizard-dueling each other. They al...

A phrase that's probably most associated today with the Marvel What If…? animated series, the concept predates it by some time. Before the phrase even came up in comics (Marvel's original What If series started in 1977), the concept was over all sorts of media. Not necessarily in a What if "B" happened instead of "A", but certainly in a sense of “what if you took a vigilante detective series" (already a popular genre at the time) "and made it bat-themed ?” Often, the answers are very satisfying. They scratch some sort of brain itch we may not even be aware we had. You see it come up in comics, TV shows, movies, even our old favorite Choose Your Own Adventure  books, which are essentially founded on the question. One place where you typically don’t see it, oddly enough, is in our tabletop roleplaying games. So this week on Never Say Dice, let's explore the concept of “What If” sessions in tabletop gaming. - A Book(mark) It! A : In the original ...

The environment is a pretty big thing in TTRPGs. Perhaps you’re out in space, or in some post-apocalyptic game, but even in D&D, the environment is a big part of the game, with event-specific classes and spells to drive this point home. Specifically, the Druid (not to downplay the Ranger) is one big call-out of D&D. They’re even mentioned as far back as the original Greyhawk supplement from 1975 (you may have already seen our Greyhawk posts ), though they didn’t become playable as a character class until 1976. Along with that, there are plenty of nature-based abilities and spells. It should be no surprise, then, that those spells and abilities get misused. Yes, once again you’re in for another round of Never Say Dice Ruins Your (shitty) TTRPG Memes . This one comes from a frequent offender, and we’re going to stop naming them to (hopefully) discourage these things from happening, or at least going quite as viral. The setup goes something like this: Player : I’m going to use Pl...