The
environment is a pretty big thing in TTRPGs. Perhaps you’re out in space, or in some post-apocalyptic game, but even in D&D, the environment is a big part of the game, with event-specific classes and spells to drive this point home. Specifically, the Druid (not to downplay the Ranger) is one big call-out of D&D. They’re even mentioned as far back as the original
Greyhawk supplement from 1975 (you may have already seen
our Greyhawk posts), though they didn’t become playable as a character class until 1976. Along with that, there are plenty of nature-based abilities and spells. It should be no surprise, then, that those spells and abilities get misused. Yes, once again you’re in for another round of Never Say Dice Ruins Your (shitty)
TTRPG Memes. This one comes from a frequent offender, and we’re going to stop naming them to (hopefully) discourage these things from happening, or at least going quite as viral. The setup goes something like this:
Player: I’m going to use Plant Growth to insta-kill your Big Bad Evil Guy.
DM: How? It isn’t an offensive spell, and doesn’t deal damage. (At least they’re being generous this time.)
Player: Well it doesn’t require any line of sight... have they eaten any vegetables in the last 24 hours?
DM: I’m going to say... no.
Player: That doesn’t matter. I’ll use the Suggestion spell to get them eat a bunch of acorns and then I cast plant growth. Best case scenario is some intestinal rupturing, worst case is a small grove of trees where the Big Bad was standing. So, do you want me to roll for damage or…?
A few unimportant bits are cut for space and to keep from subjecting you dear readers to the lunacy of this idea, but the point remains. Could we explode a character by using Plant Growth?
Tree Rot
The short answer is, of course... no, you cannot do this. Where would the fun be if we didn’t dissect this one
just like the others, though? First off, credit where credit is due: the target is "plants within a specific area," so there really is no line of sight needed. The spell can be cast over the course of eight hours to vitalize a larger area for long-term benefit, but we can ignore that part of it for this week's purposes. For the purposes of this ludicrous meme, the effect we’re looking at is “
all normal plants in a 100-foot radius centered on a point within range become thick and overgrown. A creature moving through the area must spend 4 feet of movement for every 1 foot it moves.” Granted you could choose to exclude one or more areas, so it could be specifically targeted at the location of a single person. However, the real key here is "thick and overgrown." Given that the rules stipulate movement penalties, they're referring to a wide-ranging area full of plants, not a handful of seeds in a stomach. How "thick and overgrown" said seeds or tiny bits of food become is entirely up to the DM. Nothing in the spell implies that a seed can grow into a giant oak tree, as the video would have you believe, in a matter of six seconds (a standard round in the game). Whether they even grow
at all is also up for debate, as we’re talking potentially about bits of food that have been masticated and even partially digested. That may cause some difficulties. Say we give the player the benefit of the doubt, and the bits/seeds do grow... how far quantifies "thick and overgrown?" Grasses, brambles, etc. wouldn’t have to grow very much to slow down movement. It seems more likely that the Big Bag Evil Guy you were trying to explode only gets some indigestion.
Let it Grow
So, could it work? We always like to ask that and follow the "Rule of Cool" whenever possible. As noted, how much these plants are going to grow is up to DM discretion. In fairness, let's say that they grow at a rate big enough to potentially cause a character to lose 1d4 rounds from retching up the contents of their stomach - incapacitating them for some amount of time. They’re also going to get a save to prevent that happening, as the stomach acids of their digestive process will be working to destroy the plants as they try to grow. (Ain't bodies neat?) So, at best you’re just going to keep the character busy for a bit.
The spell combo being suggested here is also problematic, though. You’ll either need to be a Bard and cast Suggestion, then Plant Growth one round after another OR you’ll need a magic-using buddy to cast Suggestion
and be a Bard, Druid, or Ranger. Instead of casting this longshot Plant Growth plan, you could potentially cast Call Lightning, Flame Arrows, Hypnotic Pattern, or Stinking Cloud, just to name a few, depending on your class - spells which already grant a similar effect to the one we’re trying to create here, or potentially do actual damage. If you do need someone to cast Suggestion, you’re also giving up a 2nd level spell slot which could be used for any number of things, including: Flaming Sphere, Melf’s Acid Arrow, Mind Spike, Phantasmal Force, Web, and others. If your DM is really allowing the Rule of Cool, maybe they'll allow this to work and you explode the Big Bad Evil Guy like you wanted. As we always have to remind/ask, is this a tool you really want to give your DM? Forcing your own characters to never eat vegetables/seeds and keep away from all potential sources of plant explosion?
While you might get a fun DM who allows these wild ideas to work at least once, I wouldn’t recommend abusing the system. Even the kindest DMs are going to get tired of shenanigans eventually and turn the tables on you. While there have certainly been many, many, MANY worse ideas in tabletop gaming, this one should still be left in the humor column and not actually attempted. However, Plant Growth as originally intended is still useful to impede the progress of combatants, put a natural obstacle between you and pursuing enemies, or grow an abundant amount of food the PCs can use the normal way, resulting in fewer explosions. Until next week, folks, keep sending bad spell uses our way, and enjoy your tables and your dice.
- A
Send
questions, comments, and ideas of how you would use Plant Growth to write dirty words on the school lawn to neversaydice20@gmail.com.
