Stay On Target
It just wouldn’t work. But why? Most reasonable players are going to want to understand why a particular idea will or won’t work within the rules as opposed to just hearing "because I'm the DM, that's why a wizard did it." There are a ton of problems with the Peasant Railgun, so let's take each idea-breaking issue one at a time until this goofy meme finally collapses under the weight of its own absurdity. First, yes, we all understand that, logically, something moving a distance of two miles in six seconds would need to go fairly fast. We won’t get into how fast, but let's take this issue as our first problem. While the object is accelerating quickly, there is no such thing as "extra acceleration" or "velocity damage in D&D." There is falling damage, but that's not really comparable to what's being described here. If, for the sake of argument, we say there is some kind of momentum-enhanced damage that incorporates the speed at which an object is traveling.. how are the peasants even handling it? Sure, the first few probably aren’t going to be moving very swiftly - this spear isn’t instantaneously fast. After that, though, we’re talking about an object that is hard to grab, hard to hold onto, hard to guide, and hard to let go of. How long before somebody gets injured trying to move it and we see wrenched shoulders or skin being burned off palms? How long before somebody gets it wrong, misses, and skewers the person in front of them instead of just passing it? Even if you’re not allowing for "extra damage" building up, a spear can normally do 1d6 damage - an amount that could be deadly to your average peasant.
Negative, Impacted On the Surface
But could it actually work? Still no. Okay, we all like the "rule of cool" and trying crazy things. We should still try and be fair about it, though. Is a DM going to grant "velocity damage?" Probably not. Maybe a few extra d6 on top of the damage of spear itself, just to be kind? Certainly not 400d6. Are 2,280 peasants going to even be able to pass it along? Along with that "group initiative," we might consider adding "group dexterity saves" after the first few groups, with an increasing difficulty. Is someone likely to get injured? You better believe they will! So please, do try this in your games.
Even if the DM is being kind, this still isn’t likely the route you want to go. Even allowing for the "full 400 d6 damage" you’re looking at an average of 1,400 damage per shot. That's if you hit. Consider instead having 2,280 peasants with shortbows. You’re keeping the d6 damage from spear to arrows. You’re increasing Range from 20 feet to 80 feet. Plus, even if you’re looking at a 50% miss rate, you’re still going to average closer to 4,000 damage per round... with an easy follow up shot the next round. So instead of some crazy railgun – give them a volley!
Hopefully, you have a DM that's nice enough to allow you to make a decision on whether a crazy idea like this might be worth trying, without penalizing you too badly. Try to remember that there are probably simpler options than whatever crazy scheme you've just concocted with your group. If you don’t believe us about the railgun, you’re likely to find plenty of other people's posts that go into fantastic detail about why this just isn’t the best idea for your party. So, until the next terrible meme, or at least until next week, enjoy your tables and your dice!
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Send questions, comments, and new types of damage that won't work in D&D (but might on an insurance claim) to neversaydice20@gmail.com or tweet us @neversaydice2.