As we all know by now, it's difficult for this blog to not look at popular things and rip them apart and/or break them down. It doesn’t matter if they’re classic tropes from our favorite media or popular videos of stupid rules interpretations that engagement baiters have proliferated. The  trope this particular post covers will be a classic one : You All Meet at an Inn., also sometimes known as You All Meet at a Tavern. While it would probably be enjoyable (and fairly easy), to take this one down a notch this post is going to take a different approach than usual and support the trope's use. You might say this post is "Inn Defense" of the Inn as a starting point in games and stories. So for this week, read along as we fend off the major complaints and extoll the benefits of using the Inn (or Tavern) for your launch.  Where Everybody Knows Your Name “You all meet at an inn (or tavern).” You can probably already hear the players groan as you trot out the time-tested ope...

Hi, I’m one half of Never Say Dice, specifically the cranky D&D and fantasy content-consuming half, and you may remember me from meme busting posts such as: Them Bones , Divine Bovine , and Uh-oh Here Comes the Peasant Railgun . Finding ways to kill foes in the tabletop realms fills the imaginations of players and DMs alike. Finding smart ways to do so within the rules is even more important when we all want to play a game that's fair and reasonable. Then we have the other type of gamer, who wants to have their moment in the creative sun by ignoring, flouting, or perverting the rules. If you think those kinds of people sound fun, you’re wrong! And this post isn’t for you. We call those kinds of people "engagement (or rage) baiters", and they're putting unwise ideas into impressionable player’s heads. So, once again, we here at Never Say Dice are doing our part to break another "meme," and hope nobody buries us alive for trying to stop all the…burying ali...

The environment is a pretty big thing in TTRPGs. Perhaps you’re out in space, or in some post-apocalyptic game, but even in D&D, the environment is a big part of the game, with event-specific classes and spells to drive this point home. Specifically, the Druid (not to downplay the Ranger) is one big call-out of D&D. They’re even mentioned as far back as the original Greyhawk supplement from 1975 (you may have already seen our Greyhawk posts ), though they didn’t become playable as a character class until 1976. Along with that, there are plenty of nature-based abilities and spells. It should be no surprise, then, that those spells and abilities get misused. Yes, once again you’re in for another round of Never Say Dice Ruins Your (shitty) TTRPG Memes . This one comes from a frequent offender, and we’re going to stop naming them to (hopefully) discourage these things from happening, or at least going quite as viral. The setup goes something like this: Player : I’m going to use Pl...

Tabletop roleplaying games are all full of helpful hands, particularly in Dungeons & Dragons . You and your teammates are always helping each other - there's even a "help" action. There are quite a number of hand-y spells such as Chill Touch, Shocking Grasp, Maximilian’s Earthen Grasp, and Vampiric Touch. You even have spells with the word "hand" in them like Burning Hands and Bigby’s Hand. Today, though, we’re specifically focused on one hand in particular. A simple cantrip, but a favorite of many spellcasters, and extremely useful. We’re talking about Mage Hand. While we could expound upon the multiple uses of this utility spell, and maybe we shall eventually, today we’re going to focus on a meme . That’s right, this is another edition of Never Say Dice Ruins Your (shitty) TTRPG Memes. You can see our previous work regarding the Peasant Rail Gun ,  animating skeletons and the Divine Bovine earlier in this series. The set up this time is rather simple: y...

In Dungeons and Dragons , there have been plenty of "trash" spells over the years. Spells you wouldn’t pick, as they won’t be very useful or are too niche to be worth taking up a slot in your roster. Players and GMs alike will argue over these kinds of spells for hours. Likewise, there are plenty of spells and effects that combine to enhance each other. One example would be casting Grease and Fog over the same area, limiting both your enemies' vision and their mobility. If you’re feeling murder hobo-ish, another might be Sleep and Fireball - keeping your enemies in one spot and then flambéing them. What about Trash Compactor? You don’t know what that is? The thought is to Polymorph an enemy into a small or tiny creature, then cast Resilient Sphere (sometimes known as Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere), release the Polymorph, and watch as your enemy is turned into a thick slurry of meat, blood, and bone. If you follow the blog, you’ll know that seeing a ridiculous description wri...

Peasants are the common commoner amongst the NPCs of many a tabletop role playing game. It doesn’t matter the setting, there's going to be a variety of "common" NPC that's peasant-like in some way. The subject of peasants has come up in my Dungeons and Dragons gaming group once again as the Peasant Railgun meme makes its way through the internet once again. A crazy idea that's been around for many years. Not sure what we’re talking about? The concept goes something like this: we find a big bad target, line up a group of 2,280 peasants all in a row over the distance of two miles, have them all ready their action, and then have them pass an object (usually a spear) down the line over the course of a six-second round, until it reaches the last person in line who throws the ammo at the target - gaining  "velocity damage" based on falling object damage, and dealing somewhere near 400d6 worth of damage. If this idea sounds ridiculous to you, and you’re a reg...

Undead are a common foe (and sometimes companion ) in many a game of Dungeons and Dragons . Sometimes the idiocy of memes make us wish we were dead. One Dungeons and Dragons -related meme floated through my  gaming group this week, and, as you might have guessed, it involved the undead. The meme goes a little something like this:  DM : You have been granted a wish. Cleric : I wish for the power to animate skeletons. DM : You know what? Okay.  [3 sessions later]  Cleric : I animate the bugbear’s skeleton. DM : They’re…they're not dead yet. Cleric : That wasn’t the wish.  [DM realizing what they’ve done, cue picture of shocked James Harden ] Of course, one could easily sub in S urprised Shaq , Shocked Pikachu , or one of a ny number of "surprised" memes . Or, maybe... you just... don’t ? Welcome to a little post series that I like to call "Never Say Dice Ruins Your TTRPG Memes." You may last recall this from our earlier post Divine Bovine . Could the situation pr...

  As gaming groups are wont to do, mine has recently gotten into the practice of sharing tabletop TikToks and memes. The habit, and shared a-moos-ment, are surely something that can only bring a group closer together. Occasionally though, a shared nugget of media posits a question that warrants a fair amount of discussion. While the latest one the group shared might be udderly ridiculous, I did cowtow to their request and answered their question. After all, everyone at your table wants to be seen and herd (unless they’re a rogue). If you’ve heard this before, I hope you won’t experience any déjà  moo: If a cleric uses "True Resurrection" on an enemy’s leather armor, will a cow form around it? The short answer to this, of course, is... no. This will not work. If you don’t care about the why, you’re welcome to jump to the end of the post. Why won’t this work as the original joke wants? There are several issues here. Just going through the spell description in order, the first p...