You see, there was going to be a Father's Day post about the way the holiday coincided with the simultaneous No Kings Rallies, Trump Birthday Army 250th Anniversary Parade, Minnesota state government assasinations, and Israel's attacks on Iran. It was going to build on the themes of fatherhood and legacy in the  Metal Gear  franchise, and talk about how the villains are generally motivated by a need to force change for the benefit of future generations. It was going to build on my previous Father's Day post about breaking the cycles of paternal abuse in  Metal Gear , along with the  Yakuza/Like a Dragon  series . And then a series of unforeseen real-world issues came up in my life - nothing catastrophic, but all things that needed to be dealt with immediately... and the post was postponed. No big deal, I thought, Father's Day can be a starting point, but certainly doesn't need to be the focus. I could keep going in the direction I'd already charted.  And t...

Look, I get it. I'm from the X-Files generation. I found the series at a perfect age: the cusp of adolescence, when you start to question the Narrative, and X-Files provided something different from  the honest utopian idealism of Star Trek or Doctor Who 's unfocused Bohemian wanderings through funhouse political allegory and theatrical grotesqueries of the British id. The X-Files was set in the shadows of here and now, dragging us with its protagonists into the cruel and hidden aspects of everything American society and its educational system had taught me to unquestioningly venerate - what restless, dissatisfied teenager wouldn't find themselves bewitched? There was vindication in Mulder and Scully revealing ulterior motives of the military, the government, corporations, and (especially in the earlier days) law enforcement - the adults really were lying! I didn't know it at the time, but I was living through the start of a conspiracy mania - driven to some degree b...

This was going to be some goofy-ass post about how US Presidents in games seem to get themselves kidnapped at a rate rivaling even the least secure princesses. There were going to be references to the semi-titular ninjas in Bad Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja , who seem to consider the White House merely a single stop on a much larger crime spree. Perhaps I am not a Bad Enough Dude to stay the course there, but this President's Day finds me in a sufficient state of fear regarding the office and its holders that I am at a loss to tie the gravity of our situation with quips about never getting an opportunity to play T he President is Missing . (It came with a cassette tape, which seemed impossibly cool and cutting edge when I read about it.) The fact is, Presidents are scary - it's just that most of us haven't often been on the receiving end of the harm they can cause. But Barack Obama's legacy (just to name one) is very different depending on whether you're a financial exec...

Nazis are the Bad Guys. Saying that shouldn’t be considered going out on a limb, and if you disagree then you probably won’t like this one. In fact, it’ll probably make you pretty angry... although, there are seemingly endless ways to make Nazis angry. If you’ve been a regular reader, it should be no surprise, given some of our other posts , what our stance is. Perhaps you just need a reminder, though. Nazis are the Bad Guys. You should have easily figured that out during your school years by reading and learning of the atrocities they’ve performed and the abhorrent things they continue to espouse. Perhaps you didn’t receive the best education, though, or struggled with your studies, so you might need a reminder. Let me assure you, Nazis are the Bad Guys. You don’t have to take it from Never Say Dice, though, or pour over history books, or visit museums - but you probably should, lest history continue to repeat itself. However, you should still be able to find continual reminders v...

 " He came dancing across the water With his galleons and guns Looking for the New World And that palace in the sun..." - Neil Young, "Corte z the Killer" (1975) I'm aware that I bring up Ozark Softscape's 1984 game The Seven Cities of Gold rather frequently for a title that's mostly remembered today for its influence later series like Civilization . But it's a very significant game for me personally, not only because it was, for me,  an early demonstration of the medium's potential richness and depth, but because some thirty-six years later, I keep coming back to it. There's the cartographical indulgence Seven Cities foregrounds, of course, and an appreciation of the game's mechanics I wouldn't have had at seven years old, especially since so many are hidden, left for the players themselves to deduce. But there's a reason I kept going back, both as a kid and as an emulator-savvy adult, every Columbus Day: a longing for repai...

By now, my love of older electronic games should be well-established. Indeed, over the time we've been doing this blog, I've only delved deeper and deeper, more than tripling the number of vintage consoles I have on-hand, hooked up, and ready to go. And while we can look to the pandemic and the money saved by not having to regularly commute lifestyle changes that came with it, the fact is, the propensity was always there - I have always loved older technology, especially if it operates in ways fundamentally different than modern equivalents. And compared to, say, vintage guitar and bass amplifiers (something else I have in... "generous" quantities), consoles are relatively cheap, don't take up much space, and can be used late into the night without risk of noise complaints (provided I'm using headphones). They all have their own quirks, their own histories and unique libraries, and, since they were all released in my lifetime, personal connotations. Each cons...

It's come a few times, but we here at Never Say Dice have a somewhat unique generational viewpoint as "cuspers" or X-lennials or whatever they're calling us this week. We were the very last students to have our primary schooling take place in entirely the twentieth century, and while they were on their way out, we still received a fair amount of Cold War rhetoric and American Exceptionalism, especially in the earlier years of elementary school. Notably, we got some of the final vestiges of the kind of " Great Man theory " our parents also received, curricula full of flawless figures, sanitized into simple stories for easy digestion by attention-deficient pupils: founding fathers, war hero presidents, tireless inventors... In our region, at least we were lucky enough to cover Martin Luther King and Harriet Tubman, their fascinating lives stripped down to a few selflessly heroic actions that helped solve the crises of their day. They were special, unique peopl...

Thanksgiving really is one of the most American of holidays (if you ignore that weird Canadian version , anyway). Even more than, say, Independence Day, there's a clear disconnect between the celebration itself, the story it's commemorating, and the actual messy history. It is, in its own way, an origin myth of (white) American identity - of Europeans fleeing persecution to a new land, which welcomes them through both a bountiful harvest and the kindness of a native population willing to share it with them. It's the pilot episode for Manifest Destiny , blatantly ahistorical to even most elementary school students, and, weirdly enough, genuinely accepted as such. Most depictions of the holiday, at least prior to the rush of Cold War hagiography that presented American history as a theatrical attraction with a "NO COMMIES" sign at the entrance, was focused on the imagery of food and family. Specific foods at that, making this one of the few ritualistic meals to surv...

Celebrate good times. Come on. It’s a celebration. (I will.) Between birthdays (and births), deaths, adoptions, holidays, graduations, engagements and weddings, honors of all kinds, personal milestones (like a 100th blog post ), and everything in between, our regular lives are simply filled with opportunities to celebrate. Just looking at the month of November in the US we have Dios de Los Muertos, All Saint’s Day, All Soul’s Day, Daylight Savings, Election Day, Veteran’s Day, and Thanksgiving... and that's just hitting the “big” things in the US. That leaves out all sorts of official (like Native American Heritage Month) and unofficial (National Fast Food Day) recognitions. It also doesn’t recognize that Halloween just passed and holidays like Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa as well as many others are on their way. While we may have touched on adding holidays in other posts, it would be good to talk about celebrations in general. So take a moment to celebrate with your parties an...