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Gimme a Hand?!

Tabletop roleplaying games are all full of helpful hands, particularly in Dungeons & Dragons . You and your teammates are always helping each other - there's even a "help" action. There are quite a number of hand-y spells such as Chill Touch, Shocking Grasp, Maximilian’s Earthen Grasp, and Vampiric Touch. You even have spells with the word "hand" in them like Burning Hands and Bigby’s Hand. Today, though, we’re specifically focused on one hand in particular. A simple cantrip, but a favorite of many spellcasters, and extremely useful. We’re talking about Mage Hand. While we could expound upon the multiple uses of this utility spell, and maybe we shall eventually, today we’re going to focus on a meme . That’s right, this is another edition of Never Say Dice Ruins Your (shitty) TTRPG Memes. You can see our previous work regarding the Peasant Rail Gun ,  animating skeletons and the Divine Bovine earlier in this series. The set up this time is rather simple: y...
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Pack It In

Quick, can you name the most popular (in terms of units moved) games for the Atari 2600? The Nintendo Entertainment System? The Sega Genesis? The Super Nintendo? If you know your console history, you can name them without having to check any sales figures: Combat , Super Mario Bros. , Sonic the Hedgehog , and Super Mario World , respectively. This doesn't come from rote chart memorization, but simple logic: these were the initial games included when you bought a new system in North America, so every single household with the first round of one of these consoles also had a copy of these games. (Unless it got stepped on, the dog chewed on it, a younger household member decided the cartridge needed a bath, etc.) Okay, Sonic is a bit more complicated, since the Genesis originally shipped with comparatively lesser-known arcade port Altered Beast (although if you are familiar with the game, you probably immediately said "wiiise fwom your gwaaave" out loud upon reading the tit...

Pi 5

Some five years ago, when it seemed like the world was coming apart, two friends decided to create something together - a space where they could talk about the things they cared about, where they could share their thoughts and maybe a few people might even listen in. And this endeavor was inaugurated, naturally enough for 3/14, with a series of riffs on pie puns. We find ourselves in a similar situation today, with uncertainty, chaos, and cruelty swirling around us. But we’re still putting out this blog, and every year, we’re still putting out another round of terrible pie riffs. (Not about terrible pie, mind you - everyone knows there’s no such thing.) And this year is no different. As the world falls apart around you, take time for each other and make an effort to keep doing the things you care about. Even when it’s a bunch of pie jokes. -  B Save the Twin Pies Mall! For 80s movie-inspired games like Kids on Bikes or Tales from the Loop . The PCs come from a town centered around...

D-Pad, Defend, Double Jump

This blog talks largely about the finer aspects of storytelling. Tips on keeping players engaged , to bringing life and expanding our story worlds , and video game tie-ins . Rarely do we focus on a singular character that captures our imaginations. A hero to the masses. Perhaps even someone that may one day define a generation... or perhaps as one history's great villains. Time will tell. Sure, we’ve talked about Tapper , and Bad Dudes like the Nazis , but this week it's only fitting that we focus on someone else. Someone recently in the news even. So sit back a moment and indulge us as we extort the virtues of this particular individual. Appearances At this point, it would be hard to believe if you don't know the name. He's been everywhere! I hear the ladies think he is pretty attractive, too. Sure, he isn’t the tallest fellow at 5’8”, but one would imagine he's still taller than most of his crew . Besides, with the dark hair and blue eyes, I’m sure it's quite...

Get Competitive

In general, tabletop games are full of competition, from historical dice and card games right up to modern themed board games. There are certainly plenty of tabletop game tournaments out there... something that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, as there are even jigsaw puzzle competitions. One might argue that there are a number of board games out now that unite the players as a team, but they are still competing against the clock, a target score, or some other metric. One tabletop genre where you see significantly less competition is roleplaying games. (By which I don’t mean there's a lack of games... though D&D still tops the charts, even if they’ve started to stumble). Some might argue that competition in RPGs takes the form if "players vs. the GM" (or at least the GM's BBEG), but that's not really the case. As we’ve mentioned numerous times in our posts, the GM is there to help the players tell a story - it isn’t about "competing" with them. ...

Comfort in Conspiracy

Look, I get it. I'm from the X-Files generation. I found the series at a perfect age: the cusp of adolescence, when you start to question the Narrative, and X-Files provided something different from  the honest utopian idealism of Star Trek or Doctor Who 's unfocused Bohemian wanderings through funhouse political allegory and theatrical grotesqueries of the British id. The X-Files was set in the shadows of here and now, dragging us with its protagonists into the cruel and hidden aspects of everything American society and its educational system had taught me to unquestioningly venerate - what restless, dissatisfied teenager wouldn't find themselves bewitched? There was vindication in Mulder and Scully revealing ulterior motives of the military, the government, corporations, and (especially in the earlier days) law enforcement - the adults really were lying! I didn't know it at the time, but I was living through the start of a conspiracy mania - driven to some degree b...

Kidnapped President's Day

This was going to be some goofy-ass post about how US Presidents in games seem to get themselves kidnapped at a rate rivaling even the least secure princesses. There were going to be references to the semi-titular ninjas in Bad Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja , who seem to consider the White House merely a single stop on a much larger crime spree. Perhaps I am not a Bad Enough Dude to stay the course there, but this President's Day finds me in a sufficient state of fear regarding the office and its holders that I am at a loss to tie the gravity of our situation with quips about never getting an opportunity to play T he President is Missing . (It came with a cassette tape, which seemed impossibly cool and cutting edge when I read about it.) The fact is, Presidents are scary - it's just that most of us haven't often been on the receiving end of the harm they can cause. But Barack Obama's legacy (just to name one) is very different depending on whether you're a financial exec...