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Curses!

You could say some choice four letter words. There sure are a lot of them, and some of them are very versatile ! You could make up your own or delve into historical language and dredge up any number of fantastic phrases. Perhaps this very blog is even cursed given the amount of our output lately, and our lack of meeting our general commitments to it. (To be fair, 2026 seems to have been a particularly cursed yea r for everyone... NSD included.) Or you could cast a spell. Bestow Curse in Dungeons &Dragons 5th edition could give different effects of your choosing, and is available as a third level spell to Bards and Clerics, and with Wizards starting at level five. And, of course, one could always come across a cursed item or two, but that isn’t what we’re talking about this time. Rahter, we’re bringing up Bestow Curse for yet another edition of Andy Being Super Cranky About Content Creators Intentionally Misusing Spells and Misinterpreting Rules. Yes, that means it is time for y...
Recent posts

Paperboy Delivers!

The 1985 Atari game Paperboy may be one of the first electronic games where you could work the same kind of job you might in real life so that you could afford to play, rent, or own the video game version - notwithstanding more adult occupations like bartender or tiny burger chef , which might have higher pay, but offer less free time due to the workplace realities of angry bar patrons and occasional pursuit by giant sausages. It's a precursor to the modern era, where we have dozens of games that focus entirely on things like mowing lawns or power washing - also the kinds of jobs (state law permitting) young folk might use to afford their hobbies ... or, these days, maybe just to barely survive. Newspapers themselves are fading into memory, and, with them, the paperboy job itself. The occupation may be all but dead, but delivery missions remain a staple of gaming . So, what exactly was Paperboy ? Unlike  lot of other titles of its era, it hasn't received numerous rounds of rem...

Sick Game, Bro

It could be COVID with mild or extreme symptoms. It could be the flu... with or without fevers. It might be just a common cold with sniffles and coughs. Perhaps it's that  explosive diarrhea  that's been going around. Walking pneumonia keeping you from walking? Gallbladder attack in your back? Food poisoning? Hand cut off by box-making machinery ? And then the hand started crawling around and tried to strangle everybody? Any popped eyeballs? Whooping cough? Chicken pox? Mumps? Measles? Cholera? Scarlet fever? Typhoid fever? Disco fever? Dysentery? Maybe it's just preparation for a medical procedure. Whatever it is, there's no doubt about it, no getting around it, no deal you can make with the Devil... you're sick . Should you be gaming when you’re ill? (Even if you have a license to ill ?) Gaming is always an amazing escape from what ails you, but illness can prevent you from doing what you love and enjoy. In this post Never Say Dice will discuss the Dos and Don’ts ...

Stinger!

Stinger - Sounds like a great game to review at the height of spring and heading into summer. Especially with the birds singing, and the bees trying to have sex with them…as is my understanding. It has to be about something with a stinger, right? Perhaps a scorpion, but more likely a wasp or bee, right? After all, this game is a follow-up to Konami's early vertical  SHMUP   TwinBee ! If you made that apiary assumption, though, you’d bee wrong... very wrong... just like me. Having never played the game before, but seeing it included in various lists, this comes as a bit of a surprise. You don’t even get to be shaped like a bee or a wasp (for that, you may want the even earlier arcade vertical SHMUP  Funky Be e) , but you do get to fly and kill things. But if that isn’t enough, the game's story is very 80s and that is what we’re here to discuss today. What is the story? Well… Egads! Professor Cinnamon, Earth’s flamboyant genius, has been kidnapped by evil alien bandits fro...

No Gaming Today

"No." We all grow up hearing that word a ton. No, don’t put that power cord in your mouth. No, don’t stick your finger in that socket. No, don’t touch the dice. No, you can’t go outside right now. No, you can’t play games right now. No, no, No, NO, NO! No is no. No is always no. If they say no, it means a thousand times no. Wait, I can’t play games right now?! But I’m (legally) an adult now! When you first become a functioning adult, you can start making the choice to say "yes" to things like gaming when you want. Unfortunately, becoming an adult also brings a lot of burdens, as well, and parenthood only compounds those obligations (although the kids can sometimes be a great excuse to get out of things you actually don’t want to do... unlike gaming.)  Recently, I’ve had to say "no" to gaming multiple times, even though I really wanted to say "yes" to each opportunity. So this week, I’d like to talk a bit about saying "no"… to gaming. ...

Re-murder!

Death!!!! Death stalks you at every corner! There it is, right there! Deeaaath! Ok, maybe that was just a lamp…behind you! Oh right, that’s just the cat. There it is again! Lamp again. Really though, death is rampant in tabletop games. We’ve even previously talked about the particular issue of your players becoming Murder Hobos, those transient adventurers that travel from location to location, killing NPCS all over, and shaking the bodies down for anything they can use or sell. Given how D&D got its start, and the similar ways you can fund your character's activities in many of the digital games D&D's inspired, it isn’t a surprise this is a common occurrence. For this post though, we’re going to talk about a related topic close to the core of the issue: Death . Or rather, to be specific... Murder !  But with the high technology and/or magic so common in most of our tabletop settings, at what point does murder actually become murder? Why are murders in game narratives...

6 and 20 Posts, Baked in a Pi

Here we are again, the Ides of March. And while our own issues with lunatic despots are unlikely to be resolved in a manner similar to Ceaser’s (metaphorically... maybe), we must persevere and strive on. So, along with the anniversary of a certain Roman power transition, the middle of the month brings us Pi Day… and our Annual Blogiversary! We all know what that means… prepare to be skewered with terrible pie puns! Et tu, fructose? - B Bake It So, Number One As the command team of the USS Enterpie , the PCs seek out new ingredients, new baking techniques, and boldly taking the oven to temperatures no one has gone to before.  Rolling Pin on the River The PCs must plan and execute a daring heist on a riverboat casino holding a regional baking competition. Will they be able to smuggle out pastries stuffed with ill-gotten gains, or will they end up with pie on their faces (and possibly at the bottom of the river)? (C)rust  The objective? To make enough pies to survive the wilds of...