We find ourselves in a similar situation today, with uncertainty, chaos, and cruelty swirling around us. But we’re still putting out this blog, and every year, we’re still putting out another round of terrible pie riffs. (Not about terrible pie, mind you - everyone knows there’s no such thing.) And this year is no different. As the world falls apart around you, take time for each other and make an effort to keep doing the things you care about. Even when it’s a bunch of pie jokes.
- B
Save the Twin Pies Mall!
For 80s movie-inspired games like Kids on Bikes or Tales from the Loop. The PCs come from a town centered around a bakery-turned mall (this is the 80s, after all) founded by a married couple who bonded over their pie recipes. But after inadvertently being sent back in time, the PCs accidentally prevent the couple from ever meeting, falling in love, or even baking together! Can they restore the timeline, or will their beloved mall (not to mention their entire universe) be erased from existence?
Pie(k)mon: Golden Crust
Your players must catch all correct monsters to form the ultimate collection of Pie ingredients, to be the best bakers the world has ever seen. Or will Team Betty Crocket, a rival adventuring party, manage to roll ahead of you pocket the pie-cies for themselves? (Don’t worry, they’ll probably flake away again. They always do.) Your players will be thrilled to compete in the Crumble Beach baking competition and earn their first baking badge.
Baker’s Dozen: The Rarest Flour, On the Hour
The classic heist, but in a massive pie factory! The PCs will need to plan and execute their daring robbery of the world’s finest ingredients within a single hour while a kitchen timer ticks away on the table. When it goes “ding,” the cops show up to hang them all out to dry (on the windowsill, naturally). Good fit for One Last Job or even Fiasco, depending on your group.
Pie-Tanic
Your players win tickets on a one way trip on a famous new conveyance of titanic proportions named the Pie-Tanic. While enjoying their stay, the players learn of an expensive recipe for the tarte de la mer - a recipe thought to possibly make the best blueberry pie in the world. Somehow sweet and savory all at once (the trick is sea salt!) Misfortune strikes, and the conveyance runs afoul of an accident. Before it is completely destroyed, will your players manage to save the recipe from destruction along with the pie-tanic? Will they manage to save themselves by finding refuge with the upper-crust of the vehicle? Or will they barely bake it out alive? Hopefully your players will end up Pie Kings of the world.
The PCs are hired on the dough-n low by someone claiming to represent the royal family. Treasures have been disappearing from the palace, and they suspect someone in the kitchen has been smuggling the goods inside savory meat pies. But it’s the middle of the yearly baking festival, and those pies are hidden among the thousands being sold in town. Will the thieves get away with this overcooked scheme? The players will need to be quick, clever, and have an infinite tolerance for gluten bad puns or their needle-in-a-haystack search will be nothing more than pie in the sky.
Pie Crimes and Misdemeanors
In the espionage system of your choice, the players must uncover a conspiracy by a rival government, political party, or home ec teacher to frame the President for submitting a stolen pie recipe to a baking competition. Can they uncover the conspirators or will they get pies in the face for their efforts? If they don’t prove themselves the banana cream of the investigative crop, the President may be falsely im-peached!
The Seven Hidden Key Limes
Hidden throughout the world and lost to written history are seven secret key… lime pies. If the Investigators aren’t able to stop them from acquiring all seven and performing the Great Mixing ritual, reality as we know is going to be a lot greener, squishier, and with a distinct tang.
Hopefully that will keep you sated for another year, or is at least as much as you can stand. Once again, thank you for joining us on our incredibly strange journey... how ever many years it bakes. Er... "takes."
Send questions, comments, and your favorite historically significant pie attacks to neversaydice20@gmail.com or tweet us @neversaydice2.
