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In  tabletop adventures, there are certainly a lot of things for the characters to accomplish. You might be hauling around the magic MacGuffin to finally dump into an active volcano. Maybe you’ve slayed your very first dragon. Or perhaps you took down the enemy base with one critical hit to their thermal exhaust port. What does that mean for those characters' players, though? Did they accomplish something as well? They did have a hand in all of their characters' actions, after all, rolling their luck on the dice (or some other determinator, depending on the game). Player, you are the reason the character achieved what they did. You deserve your own trophy as well. So what are some common personal accomplishments in  the world of tabletop games? Why do some particular moments stick with us? Finally, what can we, as GMs, do to reward our players, and even ourselves in these momentous occasions? - A

A: Potential player accomplishments abound. There are all sorts of firsts out there for us to experience: the first character created in a new system, the first character death, and the first TPK are all going to be big deals for players and GMs alike. Especially for these out-of-game moments not experienced by their character, it can be important to recognize milestones. Even a simple "congrats" for one of these, like “good work on your first bard design!” can add something to the relationships between players and each other, players and GMs, and players and their games. Likewise, we can award anyone at the table, even ourselves, with superlatives for impactful things adjacent to, but outside, the game. Titles like "Always On Time," "Stays to Clean Up," and "Bringer of Snacks" are just a few fantastic ways to recognize positive ways players impact the gaming experience without their characters even being involved. Bugsy, why do you think moments like “your first character” or “your first TPK” stick with us?

B: A first character begins an individual's complicated relationship with a game, or even with gaming itself, and can even serve as an avatar for their overall experience (in addition to serving as their avatar within the game... I said it was complicated!) For a first character, the separation between a player and their PC is a little more blurred - even veteran gamers are still discovering what's possible in the game they're trying out, resulting in characters that act  more befuddled (or more impulsive, if they're testing the limits of a game) than the one's they'll end up playing as the game or campaign progresses... even if they're technically the same person. For total newbie players, a new character is also an embodiment of their relationship with gaming itself, and they may end up playing somebody totally blank and flat, or completely over-the-top and exaggerated. Sound familiar? It's the same process as growing up. And, like growing up, it can awkward and messy, so milestone recognition is an important thing we can all do for each other. It helps the newer player feel like they're more a part of the group, more a participant in the game. It builds good associations and encourages participation.

Something like a TPK, on the other hand, is moment of experiencing the extremes of a game: how far will it, and the people taking part, go? Rather than dipping a toe in the water, it's hitting the bottom of the pool and seeing nothing but blue above you. And, let's be real, not everyone comes out of that situation undamaged - it can make someone drop out of a game, out of the hobby, or even out of a friendship. But they have to happen eventually, for everyone - we'd all get bored if we never ventured past the kiddie pool. So this is another time where recognition is especially important: from GMs to players, and players to each other. The worst thing has happened (a TPK being just one example), and the link between player and character has been severed. Even if the characters aren't actually dead, their circumstances are so dire it goes past what a player can experience secondhand. Blaming each other would be a natural instinct here: "it's your fault this happened" or "you're a bad GM" are common things to hear. Recognition serves as a reminder that this is something shared not only by all the people at the table, but by all the players in all the games ever played. If this serves as the end of a particular story, it's important to honor everything that happened up to that moment - the time, the emotional energy, and the soda money...none of it was meaningless. And that's why it's important to recognize the players in that moment. It reminds them, even in loss and desolation, they're not alone.

 
A: If, at this point, you’re convinced that you should be recognizing these out-of-game events, you’re probably thinking “what's the right way to do it?” The thing to consider here is the impact of the particular milestone you’ve keyed in on. Even within a single event, say, the death of a character, the reasons for its significance can based on any number of factors. Was the player's first character? Did they die in a “heroic” way? Were they still only at level one or had they taken this character to the very max level over the course of a five-year campaign, ultimately sacrificing themselves so the party can stop the BBEG at the last possible moment? A simple “way to go” doesn't quite suffice there! For something like that, it may be important to commemorate the occasion in a more significant way. The possibilities of reward run the gamut from the proverbial pat on the back to actual physical token remembrances such as badges, ribbons, stickers or painted miniatures. When it comes down to it, the best solution is probably to talk to the people involved in your game about what they like to see. You can all come to appropriate awarding together.

 

B: You're absolutely right - preparatory communication is vital. When you're rewarding players, and not just their characters, it can be easy to cross a line if boundaries haven't been established. A literal pat on the shoulder might be extremely off-putting to someone who doesn't like sudden physical contact, or out-of-game tokens might be seen as favoritism. We have to remember that these things take place in a different world than the one in the game, and all the complicating factors of real life apply. Hopefully none of this will happen with any of your groups, but it's always best to know beforehand. A good indicator is observing how players engage with and encourage each other - it should present a general idea of how they themselves would like to be treated. We all make ourselves a little vulnerable at the table, and that should be kept in mind. We all experience games as a group, and recognition should help to make someone feel more a part of that group, not that they're being treated in a different way than everyone else. In this, as with so many things, gaming is a microcosm of the world we inhabit, but it's a microcosm we all get a little more say in. If the outside world doesn't recognize our achievements, big or small, wonderful or tragic, then it's a thing we can all provide for each other.

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