Skip to main content

Happy Pi Day

Welcome to the blog everyone and a Happy Pi Day to all! We here at Never Say Pie Dice enjoy Pi in many forms: savory pies, sweet pies, the raspberry pi computer, tarts, the irrational number, moon pies, whoopie pies...the list is filling up but goes on and on. To celebrate the launch of the blog and the special day, we’ve cobblered together a list of adventure hooks you can use to (s)tart a story or your next gaming session. You may not knead them, but we hope you enjoy the upper crust of our ideas that (s)pan several genres.


Out on a hunting trip, the players find a fellow traveler wounded along the side of the road. His mission was to get his grandmother's old pie recipe book to the next town where his sister is living with a band of survivors. The path is fraught with dangers, but if they complete the mission the players will gain the respect and assistance of the small group.

VamPIEre: The Crust-erade

The local vampire lord has seemingly gone feral, and it has all of the clans on edge. However, the rumor is that it happens once every hundred years or so. The only cure is a particular meat pie. The players must find the recipe, collect the ingredients, and present the fresh pie to the lord before the whole community is in chaos. The special ingredient? A local baker from a specific family.


While grabbing a needed rest and bite to eat, the players have a chance encounter. Instead of the expected pastry for dessert, fluctuations in the biogenic dynoscanner have caused a talking pie to emerge. After some conversation, the crew start to become friends with it. When a killer robot (who may also be a driving instructor) from the future shows up to assassinate the pie (who is also his best friend), what will the crew do? Can they decide if the pie deserves to live or die? Will a tricyclic phase induction with rubindium subspace containment field solve everything? Or will they have to reverse the polarity? It's a risk they'll have to take.


Spieder-man kneads your help. Doctor Octopies claims to have given up crime and started a pie bakery. Only one problem, people keep disappearing near his shop. Who is taking the people and where are they going? Are Doc Oc and his pies involved? Spieder-man wants your squad to investigate.


It is festival time in the village of Crust. The main event is their local Pie Eating Contest. Grand prize is an apple said to be made of solid gold with a hidden magic power. The half-orc champ is anxious to take on all challengers, but rumor has it that some of the pies have been poisoned. Can the party catch the culprits and win the contest?


The code to a secret formula has been stolen and encrypted as part of a pie recipe. Put on black market auction, it was sold for 100,000. The hand-off is to take place during the 42nd Annual Canadian Pie-Rating convention. Can your agents find the plans and stop the trade or will Pierates swoop in and take the plans away?


Old Mr. Ritter had just gone and shot himself a deer. At least, it looked like a deer from afar. Either way, he reckoned it would be good eating. It wasn't until after his wife Mable cooked it into a shepherd's pie that everyone started growing tentacles.


Friend Computer likes apple pie. Only commies and dirty dirty mutants don't like apple pie. You like apple pie. The cafeteria has been serving only apple pie. Now they are serving only pie shells full of uncooked apple cores. Friend Compieter needs your help. Time to troubleshoot the cafeteria kitchen!

Popular posts from this blog

The Mission Will Be Very Safe and Fun for Everyone: Some Thoughtcrimes on Running Paranoia

  I'm sorry citizen, but the question "why hasn't there been a Paranoia post in over fifteen months" cannot be processed. Records indicate that the previous post, " [Backstory Redacted] - Getting Ready to Run Paranoia " was activated in the Year 214 of the Computer, and, as this is currently Year 214 of the Computer, your internal chronometer must be malfunctioning. Rumors that is has always been Year 214 of the Computer are treason. Please report to Internal Security for cerebral re-adjustment. Have a nice daycycle. So, why hasn't there been a post about Paranoia in fifteen months, anyway? The previous two have been quite popular , and, as I'm fond of saying, I've put more thought into this game than nearly anything else in my life, formal education included. As time went on, I found myself procrastinating on the follow-up. I didn't have enough time to work out everything I'd want to cover, I'd tell myself, or that some other top

An Introduction to Risus

While roaming the internet in the late nineties/early noughties, I came across a TTRPG that was rules-lite and called itself “the anything RPG.” Want to play a high school cheerleader/samurai-in-training part-time goth enthusiast fast food cashier? The hot pink stick figure art glared back at me. Nah, not interested. But I was wrong. The stick figures were actually purple, and Risus is a surprisingly versatile, handy and down right fun TTRPG. I wouldn’t figure that out though till I discovered it again several years later. Even though it was written as a comedy system (and somewhat lighthearted response to GURPS) you really can use it for just about anything: space opera, high fantasy, pulp, vampires,western, any movie setting you could think of...seriously anything. You can read a far more detailed and interesting history in a number of other places should it strike your fancy. It is time for your Risus indoctrination introduction. Risus really is versatile and fairly easy to learn

Be a Grinch! (in a Tabletop RPG)

The Holidays may be almost over (for a while), and we hope you’ve all enjoyed your seasonal music and movies/specials. We here at Never Say Dice have covered the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special and the new LEGO edition a few posts ago. A common thing many of us into tabletop RPGS like to do is incorporate media into our games. After all, many of us have grown up with the blending of media and the holidays as a given. It provides us a framework to build on and a common touchpoint to the people at our tables, virtual or otherwise. One classic character featured in holiday specials and commemorated in his own song is the Grinch, the avocado-green villain with strange cardiac growth problems apparently linked to his personality. The Grinch, villain though he may be, has a slew of characteristics that would make the character an excellent one at the gaming table. Those of you not familiar with Suess-lore may really only know the Grinch from the How the Grinch Stole Christmas animated

[Backstory Redacted] - Getting Ready to Run Paranoia

Greetings, Citizens! For scheduling reasons Due to Commie sabotage, the benevolent and exceptionally well-prepared individuals in charge of Never Say Dice have chosen to follow up the recent Paranoia post with another, this time about what you need to do before the game. Readers unfamiliar with Paranoia should take this opportunity to educate themselves before their ignorance is discovered and punished, and any readers uninterested in Paranoia should join the line for the nearest Termination Booth forming here . Please fill out the Citizen Satisfaction Survey before stepping into the booth. Have a pleasant daycycle! When we last spoke, I had covered the setting and talked a little about my first (successful) Paranoia session, but closed without sharing the lessons I had learned from my years of running the game. Players: Welcome to Alpha Complex, Six Death Minimum I must admit to having a certain advantage in my pool of available players that other Gamemasters might not: I live in