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Towel Day 2(5th)

Towel Day?!? Hasn’t the blog covered that before? Well, yes, and a few other Douglas Adams-related things. How could we not? This year, the day itself even falls on one of our (intended) blog posting days: May 25th. (It isn’t like we’d post on a Thursday... never could get the hang of Thursdays.) The writings of Douglas Adams seem to be one of those touchstones that most nerds of all ages and backgrounds can agree upon. You might prefer Star Wars to Star Trek, or Harry Potter to Lord of the Rings, but all of those people seem to appreciate the absurd, yet dry humor of Douglas Adams. Though he may have left us almost a quarter century ago, his daft spirit lives on in all of his fans. So what better way to celebrate than to once again appreciate the legendary towel!

As if you weren’t already familiar:

“Just about the most massively useful thing any interstellar hitch hiker can carry. For one thing it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth on the cold moons of Jaglan Beta, sunbathe on it on the marble beaches of Santraginus Five, huddle beneath it for protection from the Arcturan Megagnats as you sleep beneath the stars of Kakrafoon, use it to sail a miniraft down the slpow heavy river Moth, wet it for use in hand to hand combat, wrap it round your head to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, and even dry yourself off with it if it still seems clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have ‘lost’. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase which has passed into hitch hiking slang, as in ‘Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is.’ (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)”

This year, Never Say Dice would like to add four MORE potential uses for the most venerable Towel.

  • Wrap it around your hand to protect it from the cold door handle of your DeLorean as it arrives from the past.
  • Wipe down the bar after someone spills Raktajino all over it from doubling over laughing at one of Morn’s jokes.
  • Protect your eyes from the memory erasing effects of the neuralyzer. 
  • Pad your knees as you grovel in front of the new Lord of the Sith.

No matter what you use your towel for this weekend, we hope you hoopy froods have a fantastic Towel Day. Of course,  this weekend isn’t just for towel day; we also have Geek Pride Day, Memorial Day (the unofficial start of summer), National Wine Day, and National Tap Dance Day, along with many many others. Maybe don’t celebrate National Tap Dance Day and National Wine Day at the same time, though. As always, enjoy your tables, your dice, always remember where your towel is, and  please remember: DON’T PANIC.

Send questions, comments, and Vogon Poetry Cliff notes to neversaydice20@gmail.com or Tweet us @nevesaydice2


 

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