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Game-ComPIEtable Items

Though occasionally we may wish it was January’s National Pie Day, a Happy belated Pi Day to all! Also, a Happy Blogiversary to Never Say Dice. Baking up 4 years of posts has been a tall order, but we’ve risen to the challenge every week. It should be no surprise that we've baked up another post for our dear readers that's crusted over with sprinkling of delicious puns. In previous years we’ve provided adventure hooks, rolled out a number of character concepts, and even some proofs of pie-rates. One thing we haven’t yet filled the posts with  are Pi-tems. So this year, you’ll find a small collection of pi and pie themed items for your consumption. Enjoy! - A

Pi-noculars - Sure, you have your regular noculars in games. You might even have some bi-noculars. But what about pi-noculars? They let you see just as far as the standard binoculars from your game, but you can see around the largest object in view. Bakery in the way? Crusty old tree blocking the path? Use the pi-noculars and see through them in x-ray-like quality.

The Watchful Pies of Justice
- From an annoyingly Chaotic Good baker, these pies will launch themselves into the faces of evildoers. Hope you've taken them out of your bag first, or things could get quite messy!

Hot-Pocket - Adventurers stranded without the means to start a fire? Hungry from all the day's battling? Break out the Hot-Pocket! A small pouch designed to heat and keep food warm…or you can turn it so molten hot it's like throwing a ball of magma towards your enemies (yet it's still somehow frozen in the middle).

Vial of Filling - Tired of lugging around massive quantities of rations? Want something small and discreet, yet still delicious... but need to feed a group of 4-6? Get yourself a Vial or two (or more) of Filling! Just pour the contents into a pie tin, pan, bucket, or barrel and watch it fill up with pie filling based on the color of the potion. Red for cherry, blue for blueberry, orange for pumpkin, and now introducing yellow for lemon meringue! (Warning: keep vials away from hobbits.)

The Handy Pie-Bar - Beloved of hungry rogues everywhere, there's no windowsill this can't jimmy open... just need to let it cool while keeping an eye out for guards.

Cloak of Crust - Sometimes that elf that weaves your cloak just isn’t in the spirit for making magic items. Sure, they love the forest and helping people hide for pranks, but why can’t they just do what they really love... baking? Before you know it, you’ve ended up with a Cloak of Crust. It may sound crumby to you if your adventures mostly involve outdoor skulking, but the Cloak of Crust is perfect for tomfoolery in cities and towns. Just active the magic enchantment and receive some elvish assistance in making yourself look like a bushel of delectable baked goods.

Chef’s Hat of Dough-mination - Do you often find yourself surrounded by weak-willed bad guys? Need to rise to the challenge of ordering them around? Just adorn yourself with the Chef’s Hat of dough-mination and let the orders fly. And what powerful chef would be complete without...

Enchanted Rolling Pin - Useful as a melee weapon or for taming disagreeable lumps of dough. What more needs to be said?

We hope you all once again enjoyed yourself a slice with Never Say Dice, we know we kneaded a good chuckle, at least. Please keep coming back for more of our tabletop gaming adventures, thoughts on AI assistance at the tabletop, video games, and everything else you’ve come to love at the blog. We hope to see you again each and every week. At the very yeast, we hope you come back again next year for more of our pun play. Enjoy all your tabletops, your dice, and your pi(e)s!
 

Send questions, comments, and vegetarian meat pie recipes to neversaydice20@gmail.com or Tweet us @neversaydice2.

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